Few days back I went to a Pakistani gathering where I was asked a question multiple times: How long have you been in Sweden? I casually replied: 2.5 years. What? I had to repeat it a few times inside my head to make sure it really was what I heard myself say. To be precise it's 2 years and 2 months. I was surprised how much time has gone by. But I was even more surprised by my own casual way of saying it, of making it 2.5 years even though it's been just over 2.
Have I accepted this way of life? This sleeping in through half of the day, this doing nothing and still being content, this series of unproductive, unexciting days? Have I really?
When I got my results two weeks ago, I though to myself: Do I have any desire left for working in healthcare? Do I even care if I clear this stage or not? The answer could easily be NO, in the spur of the moment. But once I reeled back my mind to April this year when I entered the hospital for a praktik. I tried to re-live the thrill I experienced everyday. Like a kid feels on the first day of school.. the kind of kid who LOVES school. Yeah, that's how I felt. I could almost smell the antiseptic clean smell of the hospital, the adrenalin rush before meeting a new patient, the overflow of endorphins on finding myself in neonatal nursery. That sensation of being productive and useful, even though you're a student or praktikant, because after all you have spent the better half of your life studying those thick epitomes, because no matter how scared you are inside, still YOU are the one in that white coat or that blue t-shirt that says 'Läkare'!
Yes, I remember all that. And I can not compare that joy to anything else I have experienced in my life. Love, perhaps. But that's the same thing, isn't it?
So here I stand and ponder over my performance to-date and prospects hence-forth and what do I see? I see an older -if not wiser- me who has lost a bit of confidence and gained another bit, is a lot calmer, not apparently too ambitious. I see a clear way ahead, and I feel proud of myself for whatever little I did manage to achieve. I know I have my shortcomings, but at least now I know them.
20 days of study in total and I cleared one subject. I can live with that.
I might have lost some and gained some but I have learned an important life lesson: Everything does not always go as we plan. That makes life what it is.
Here's to 2.5 (!) years in Sweden!
Have I accepted this way of life? This sleeping in through half of the day, this doing nothing and still being content, this series of unproductive, unexciting days? Have I really?
When I got my results two weeks ago, I though to myself: Do I have any desire left for working in healthcare? Do I even care if I clear this stage or not? The answer could easily be NO, in the spur of the moment. But once I reeled back my mind to April this year when I entered the hospital for a praktik. I tried to re-live the thrill I experienced everyday. Like a kid feels on the first day of school.. the kind of kid who LOVES school. Yeah, that's how I felt. I could almost smell the antiseptic clean smell of the hospital, the adrenalin rush before meeting a new patient, the overflow of endorphins on finding myself in neonatal nursery. That sensation of being productive and useful, even though you're a student or praktikant, because after all you have spent the better half of your life studying those thick epitomes, because no matter how scared you are inside, still YOU are the one in that white coat or that blue t-shirt that says 'Läkare'!
Yes, I remember all that. And I can not compare that joy to anything else I have experienced in my life. Love, perhaps. But that's the same thing, isn't it?
So here I stand and ponder over my performance to-date and prospects hence-forth and what do I see? I see an older -if not wiser- me who has lost a bit of confidence and gained another bit, is a lot calmer, not apparently too ambitious. I see a clear way ahead, and I feel proud of myself for whatever little I did manage to achieve. I know I have my shortcomings, but at least now I know them.
20 days of study in total and I cleared one subject. I can live with that.
I might have lost some and gained some but I have learned an important life lesson: Everything does not always go as we plan. That makes life what it is.
Here's to 2.5 (!) years in Sweden!
are u still there ?? i hope u do .. i need some information about the internship year that we must take after the exam !!
ReplyDeleteHi, I'm still here and on the way. I haven't really started that year so can't say anything about it.
DeleteRegards
Hello Doctor, Thank you so much for all the information on your blog. I am almost on the same track as you. I came across some info that might be beneficial for us (any doctor from outside EU).
ReplyDeleteOn page 14 of the linked document you can see that there is actually an alternative to TULE test. [Supplementary education – Instead of the TULE test] Seems redundant to study one more year but I believe it'd be less helpful if we just waste our lives taking the test over n over again.
http://www.lansstyrelsen.se/stockholm/SiteCollectionDocuments/Sv/manniska-och-samhalle/integration/tillvaxt-och-egenforsorjning/Lakare-tredje-land-for-lakare-eng.pdf
Let us know what you think about this!
All the best luck in the world!
Hey Moe Zadeh ,, allow me to comment ..actually the owner of this blog has already talked about that route in another post here ..
Deletehere is the link http://drneeno2.blogspot.com/2012/08/an-alternate-to-medical-test.html
Thanks for comments. I am doing that course in Gothenburg right now, as the test didn't work out for me.
ReplyDeleteGood luck!