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Feeling post - A world apart

There are things I always wish I had tried, not to get them, but just to know how they would have gone for me, how would I have performed in them?... like the O and A levels, taking both maths and biology in F.Sc., going through the house job interviews, FCPS exams, AKUH residency test, working as an RMO, taking USMLE steps, IELTS, PLAB, AMC and many others that I don't even remember right now. How would it have felt completing residency and FCPS in paediatrics within 4 years?

On the contrary I have done things that I never imagined I would go through.. Coming from a small place and getting admission in PECHS college, then after topping the jamiat medical test, getting into DMC, Hamdard and KMDC, even qualifying for D-pharm in Karachi University and NED, clearing medicine degree in first attempt, within 5 years, without having the power to 'ratta'fy,and while coming to know how good my Clinical skills were. Then moving to Sweden just after 4 months, Learning a whole new language, attempting the Swedish medical exam, and wishing to work in a Health care system which is as different from civil hospital as possible.

It's true that I would like to know if I would ever get into AKUH or clear Step 1 of USMLE. As much as I would like to complain about it, I can't. Just looking at the positive experiences, all I can do is to shed some tears of thankfulness to dear God. As much as it would mean to get the 'average' things, I'm so over-whelmed by my 'not-so-average' and Amazing experiences. I'm so thankful I could ever know what my capabilities are, other than being just another doctor. I know it's not "just" a doctor for many people. But personally, I needed to know who I am and what my capabilities and my limitations are. I'm thrilled to know how much I could do. I know there are a lot of people who would give anything just to not be the average-Joe, and I accept that I was the kind who would never dare to try something new or different. All I ever wanted was an average life. Or that's what I thought I wanted. Inside my heart I was Always wishing for adventures.

November 2011, I started running, and that's when I found my 'high'.

7th July 2012, the day I first tried the roller coaster (not once, but thrice), I was freed. This is the new me. Someone who is a lot more flexible, fun-loving, relaxed, smart, adaptable, versatile, curious and intelligent than the old me. It was all in there but it's showing now.

This is Sweden, and here I am.
This is my life now.
I cook and clean and organize for stress-relief. And run... heck yeah, I run.
I'm not aspiring to be thin, but healthy.
I don't care about competing with my Group mates any more. I'd rather beat personal records.
I don't just follow my comfort zone, I try new stuff. I'm open to change.
I'm okay with not having my dream job for a few months, it will come.
I'm learning to believe in God and to really trust in Him. Away from all the cultural glitches, I can focus on the real way of life.

Comments

  1. +1 for positive attitude . I pray everything goes well your way :D

    ReplyDelete

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